Marriage and love in islam

Love and marriage

Allah has created the whole universe by binding one with another. Allah has made everything dependent on another and sustained the whole universe by love and relationship. If we have been created dependent by nature it means we can not sustain without it. It is necessary to have a good relationship for balance. 

There exist two types of love 

1.Sexual love

2.Well manner love

  Sexual love is by nature. One man loves a woman by nature. It may be blind called as عشق or it may be real because of her good manners.

  Today we learn about the well mannered love. 

1. Optimism: it is necessary that a couple be an optimistic. Because everyone loves good things and be judged as good . When an optimistic couple Starts looking one another with good beliefs it will make them love each other. When a couple starts deeming one another wrongly, it will just sow the seeds of hatred and ultimately anger.  

Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala said:

يٰٓأَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا اجْتَنِبُوا كَثِيرًا مِّنَ الظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعْضَ الظَّنِّ إِثْمٌ  ۖ وَلَا تَجَسَّسُوا وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُمْ بَعْضًا  ۚ أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَنْ يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ  ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ  ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَوَّابٌ رَّحِيمٌ

"O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful."

(Al-Hujuraat 49: Verse 12)

 This is the verse of wisdom full book .

In Hadith Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said don't be pessimistic because pessimism is the greatest lie.

So now there is no choas for a Muslim to be optimistic. 

2.  Avoiding whispers : it is not good to share any bad character heard about somebody unless it to be verified. If there is bad character in someone still then we should not share it to defame him but should cover it to protect his respect because Allah love such people.

Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala said:

يٰٓأَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓا إِنْ جَآءَكُمْ فَاسِقٌۢ بِنَبَإٍ فَتَبَيَّنُوٓا أَنْ تُصِيبُوا قَوْمًۢا بِجَهٰلَةٍ فَتُصْبِحُوا عَلٰى مَا فَعَلْتُمْ نٰدِمِينَ

"O you who have believed, if there comes to you a disobedient one with information, investigate, lest you harm a people out of ignorance and become, over what you have done, regretful."

( Al-Hujuraat 49: Verse 6)

In an authentic Hadith Prophet Muhammad pbuh said

٤٣- عَنْ حَفْصِ بْنِ عَاصِمٍؓ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُوْلُ اللهِ ﷺ: كَفَي بِالْمَرْءِ كَذِبًا اَنْ يُحَدِّثَ بِكُلِّ مَا سَمِعَ.

رواه مسلم، باب النهي عن الحديث بكل ما سمع، رقم: ٧

43. Hafs ibn 'Asim Radiyallahu 'anhu narrates that Rasiilullah Sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam said: It is enough for a man to be a liar if he relates everything he hears.

(Muslim)

Note: It means to narrate whatever one hears, without checking its truthfulness, is also a degree of falsehood, due to which one loses the trust placed in one by people.

First you need to investigate the saying and if the saying (rumour) is right still you need to cover his/her bad habits. Because when we can't tolerate to be defamed then how he/she can. 

Watch 06:44 -07:27

  There is a famous one whisper that is called as

     Chinese whisper . The experiment is 

  People were placed in a straight line and in the ear of first person, something was said . When the last man was asked what you heard he replied more false than truth. 

It means there is also a big fault in our individual sincerity. We are making and creating barrier among ourselves and it results in sole harm. 

3. Redicule and offensive calling : A believer should not make fun of one another. When we make fun , it means we are derespecting one another and it the ultimate cause of hatred. 

Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala said:

يٰٓأَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا لَا يَسْخَرْ قَوْمٌ مِّنْ قَوْمٍ عَسٰىٓ أَنْ يَكُونُوا خَيْرًا مِّنْهُمْ وَلَا نِسَآءٌ مِّنْ نِّسَآءٍ عَسٰىٓ أَنْ يَكُنَّ خَيْرًا مِّنْهُنَّ  ۖ وَلَا تَلْمِزُوٓا أَنْفُسَكُمْ وَلَا تَنَابَزُوا بِالْأَلْقٰبِ  ۖ بِئْسَ الِاسْمُ الْفُسُوقُ بَعْدَ الْإِيمٰنِ  ۚ وَمَنْ لَّمْ يَتُبْ فَأُولٰٓئِكَ هُمُ الظّٰلِمُونَ

"O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one's] faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those who are the wrongdoers."

( Al-Hujuraat 49: Verse 11)

 We should not call one another with offensive names it is just a sign of indecency.

4. Speaking good: Words have much more power which can either take to Jannah or Jahannam ( heaven or hell fire) . Backbiting is the most common in our societies as it is prohibited in sura al-Hujrat verse 12 . The one who backbites is bitting the flesh of his dead brother. It's name is pretty too i,e bitting at the back the flesh of dead brother and not letting others to know that I am bitting the flesh of my dead brother...! Alas.

Allah says 

قَالَ اللهُ تَعَالي: (وَقُلْ لِّعِبَادِيْ يَقُوْلُوا الَّتِيْ هِيَ اَحْسَنُ ط اِنَّ الشَّيْطنَ يَنْزَغُ بَيْنَهُمْ ط اِنَّ الشَّيْطنَ كَانَ لِلْإِنْسَانِ عَدُوًّا مُّبِيْنًا۞).

(بني اسرائيل:٥٣)

Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala said to His Prophet Sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam: And say to My slaves (believers) that they should (only) say those words that are the best (in which no one's heart is hurt). Because Shaitan, verily, provokes discord among them. Surely, Shaitan is to man an open enemy.

[Al-Isra 17: 53]

 In chapter 2 Al- Baqarah verse 263 Allah says

    Good saying and covering evil is better than such giving after which regret is being made.

  We can know from these verses the value of good words and the necessity of avoiding evil talks. 

5. Covering the evil : it is one of the most influential character which one should have. Covering the bad character of others. When we curb ourselves from spreading bad characters of others ,it will definitely sow the seeds of love and kinship. Backbiting is the most worst and common in our societies. 

Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala said:

يٰٓأَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا اجْتَنِبُوا كَثِيرًا مِّنَ الظَّنِّ إِنَّ بَعْضَ الظَّنِّ إِثْمٌ  ۖ وَلَا تَجَسَّسُوا وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُمْ بَعْضًا  ۚ أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَنْ يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ  ۚ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ  ۚ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَوَّابٌ رَّحِيمٌ

"O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful."

( Al-Hujuraat 49: Verse 12)

   Whenever we go to backbit we should remind that we are going to bite the flesh of dead brother...!

6. Craveness of world : As a Muslim we should not let craveness to hate others others. These are worldly blessings and we should not get blind by these things. 

Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala said:

وَلَا تَتَمَنَّوْا مَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بِهِۦ بَعْضَكُمْ عَلٰى بَعْضٍ  ۚ لِّلرِّجَالِ نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا اكْتَسَبُوا  ۖ وَلِلنِّسَآءِ نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا اكْتَسَبْنَ  ۚ وَسْئَلُوا اللَّهَ مِنْ فَضْلِهِۦٓ  ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ بِكُلِّ شَىْءٍ عَلِيمًا

"And do not wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others. For men is a share of what they have earned, and for women is a share of what they have earned. And ask Allah of his bounty. Indeed Allah is ever, of all things, Knowing."

(An-Nisaa 4: Verse 32)

This is craveness which leads us to compete for world and for the hearafter. In Surah التکاثر verse 1-2 

Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala said:

أَلْهٰىكُمُ التَّكَاثُرُ

"Competition in [worldly] increase diverts you"

(. At-Takaathur 102: Verse 1)

  Competition diverts us until we die...! There will be so pity after our death otherwise!

I never congratulate anybody on achieving anything where Allah's sake has not involved

6.Helping : Helping others is also very helpful for making our relationship stronger. Like as paying zakah is type of help and it builds love among us. But it should be given with hearth not to show off. Otherwise it will not be considered as Zakah. 

   Contributor shahid